Full Stop

Interesting how my plans sometimes get derailed. I'm going 65 mph with life, getting things done, then from out of nowhere....STOP! I'm flat on my back, unable to get anywhere by myself. I'm totally dependent on other people. Can't drive cause you gotta have both eyes open for that. Don't want to watch TV cause that hurts. Reading is a challenge. All because of one tiny scratch.....on my eyeball. The only thing I can do is lie in the dark and try not to make it hurt more.

Sometimes I think God puts these STOP signs in the road to force us back into first gear. If we don't slow down, maybe he forces us too. Psalm 46 says, "Be still and know that I am God." It doesn't say do anything. It says "know."

Too bad it took an injury to force me to be still.

Relapse

Relapse for me means I go back to lazy or destructive ways of thinking. "I'm not worth anything to anyone, really." "I'm not good at this. Nobody acknowledged my effort." "Why even try? It'll never amount to anything." Codependents have an unhealthy need for validation from other people. We are prone to bouts of depression. We're afraid to step out and try something new. We wonder why people don't respond the way we need them to.

Recovery is a process of reprogramming our minds. We have to stop the stinking thinking that keeps us paralyzed. I have to spend copious amounts of time in the Word to battle my tendency toward negative self-talk. Even then, it's still a battle.

Road Bike

I bought a new road bike a couple of weeks ago. I really want to get back in shape and since my body will not let me run anymore, I think biking is a good alternative. There's a lot to learn about this sport. It's more than just being able to stay up on the bike, like avoiding the crazy drivers who come within inches of knocking me to the curb. Overall, people are considerate. But there are always one or two who have to be rude.

Anyway, I'm learning how to shift and I'm learning where the best routes are. I also have this app on my iPhone that talks to me while I'm riding and tells me when I hit each mile and what my top speed is. So, here I go. I hope this something I can really enjoy for a while.