Test Questions

Did you ever have one of those teachers who gave tests without letting you know what was going to be on it? You want to do well, but you get very little direction. Maybe there's so much information you don't know what's really important. If only he or she would just tell you what you need to know, you'd learn it. But, when there's no direction there's frustration and possibly failure.

Sometimes I feel like God is like that. He's giving me a test without telling me what I need to know to pass it. I mean, I want to do well. I want to learn the lesson and move on, but I don't know what I'm supposed to know. Obviously I haven't learned it yet, cause I'm still stuck in the same place. I'm still going around this same mountain.

Habits

It's funny how things can change so quickly. It's sad how I revert back to old habits.

I've tasted more freedom in the last month than I have my whole life. I've felt God's hand sculpting my soul like the skilled potter of scripture. I can feel myself becoming the me God had in mind all along. He's peeled back the lies. He's drawn back the curtain to reveal the ugly truth. And in the light of day, their power has all but disappeared. Fear is fading and fearlessness is taking its place.

Yet, I still grasp for control. I worry and fret. My body aches from stress. How can I go backward when going forward is so much better?

Habit. Fear has been my default for a very long time.

How do I break the habit? Time and practice. I fill my mind with God's truth. I practice new thoughts and resist the old ones when they creep back in. And then, I believe, someday, when I least expect it, freedom becomes the habit. Fearlessness will become my default.