New Year's Resolution

Dictionary.com defines a resolution as "the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc." It's an act of the will.

Maybe that's why I have trouble keeping mine. I am weak when it comes to will power. I've often tried to do the right things through my own will.....and I fall short. 

That's why this year, I'm asking God to help me live a better life. I want Him to take control and change whatever is in me that keeps me from making good decisions everyday. I want Him to help me stop with the emotional eating and the tendency I have to hibernate when things aren't going right. I am going to stop trying to figure everything out and just live every day listening to His voice. I'm asking Him to help me make consistently healthy decisions and love the life He's given me.

That's my resolution for 2012: Stop making resolutions. 

Philippians 2:13 "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." 

Careful!

Anyone else a little more careful this year after two local people died decorating homes for Christmas? One man in Grand Prairie was electrocuted while stringing Christmas lights. My thoughts go back to the past two years when I have climbed the ladder and strung my own lights. (Who else is going to do it, right?) You'll notice there are no lights on my house this year. Not just because of the death, but it justified my lack of motivation to get them out of the shed.

Then a woman in Little Elm fell while climbing up the steps to her attic to get Christmas decorations. Maybe we all need to be a little more careful. Interesting how we don't think about being safe until something happens. Human nature, I guess. Like the fact that ever since I was part of an emergency landing on a airplane, I make sure I know where the nearest exit is when I get on one. For the first few trips after that, before we took off I had to let down my tray table to make sure there were no bomb threats left there. Neurotic or cautious? I'll let the people decide.

We can't live our lives in fear. We can't stop getting on the highway because so many accidents happen each week. We can't stop traveling in airplanes because of the lunatics out there. And we can't stop putting up decorations because we're afraid of falling. Things happen. People get hurt.

Just be a little more careful out there.

Anyway

In 2006, Martina McBride recorded the inspirational song, "Anyway." I recently learned that it was inspired by a favorite poem of Mother Teresa. It was written by Kent Keith and originally titled, "The Paradoxical Commandments." May the text of this inspire everyone who reads it to live the life you were made to live, no matter what the world says about it.

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Week's End

I don't know about y'all, but this week has been tough, physically and emotionally. The change in the weather along with the smoke blowing into our area from the grass fires in South Texas have gotten the better of me. I've been sneezing, coughing and wheezing since Wednesday. I love Texas, but not the allergens.

It's so sad to watch the reports of the fire's destruction on the news. And I know it could hit my community too. 

This has also been the week leading up to the tenth anniversary of the attacks of 9/11. I don't think there is an American who remembers those days who hasn't teared up just thinking about them. Friday, I talked about those events with my fifth grade class. Most of them were one year old at the time. Just telling them about my experience, where I was on that morning, was difficult. I had to stop a couple of times when I was close to choking up. I wonder if I'll ever be able to think about it and not cry.

One thing I remember was that Rush Creek held a prayer service that night, the night of the attacks. I didn't want to go. To this day, I can't tell you why. Something happened to me that day that I can't explain.

I've watched some of the coverage on TV. I've avoided most of it. I want to remember, but not relive.

I was in New York City six weeks after 9/11. I went to ground zero. I smelt the fumes from fires still smoldering. I witnessed a memorial service for a first-responder processing from St. Patrick's Cathedral. I spoke with people who were there. I experienced a bomb threat aboard our flight home and felt the indignation of how someone could put so many more lives in jeopardy.

I look forward to tomorrow, September 12th. Hopefully I'll feel better. I can put this behind me and, along with the rest of us, I'll continue to live my life. We all know we will never be the same again, but maybe that's a good thing. We understand the preciousness of life here and now. We know a little bit better who we are as Americans. I pray we never take it for granted.

And that's why we remember.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it......

I'm struck with the number of people I know who seem to be stuck. Stuck in what my pastor calls "stinkin' thinkin'". We're under spiritual attack but we don't know it. We believe the lies and the opinions the world throws at us every day. We even invite them in. We watch TV, read magazines, the internet and listen to the things the world thinks are important and spend very little time by comparison with what the Maker of our souls thinks. We feel hopeless and we don't know why.

I just wonder what would happen if we took a concerted effort to truly "renew" our minds. Just like dropping a few pounds, we have to make an effort if we are going to overcome the habits that keep us bound. What if we were made aware, for the first time, of areas in our lives that God wants to transform?

So, I'm issuing a challenge.....

For three weeks, 21 days, I am committing to turning off the TV and the computer and opening God's word. Will you join me? Search the scriptures for verses that mean something to you and spend the time you would have spent watching your shows by memorizing scripture. Also, spend time praying that God will help you memorize and that He will open up new meaning of what you are memorizing. The only exception to the TV rule is if you watch Biblical TV. Find a preacher that you like and record it. Go to their internet site and watch their video podcasts. Watch him or her instead of Entertainment Tonight.

Why 21 days? I heard long ago that if you can do something for 21 days, you've just built a new habit. And what better habit than spending time with God? Name one other thing that has the potential to start a life-changing process in you.

I know we're getting into the time of the season premiers, but Satan will always find excuses to whisper in your ear. I'm starting Sunday, August 28th. If you're with me, let me know. Post something here. You may have to "Follow" my blog to be able to post. Or post on Facebook, just don't hang out there. I want to know what happens with this.

I dare you.....

What's Important

Something about my character is very task-oriented. I often overlook opportunities to connect with people because I am focused on checking something off my list. I find myself focused on the future and where I will be in 5, 10 or 20 years. Am I on track? Am I doing my best to be in God's will?

This month, I've felt my focus changing. Suddenly the tasks don't mean so much anymore. Living in the moment, loving someone by finding out more about them, pausing to make someone's day better...those are the important things.

What's caused this change? You can probably guess. It usually has this affect on people. It brings us to a sudden stop and forces us to refocus. It's death. Twice this month I have experienced the sudden death of someone in my circle of acquaintance. Without warning, they are gone.

One day I'm shaking her hand, the next day there's a story of the accident in the paper.

One night we're playing music, praising God together, the next day someone says, "Did you hear?"

People say it all the time in these circumstances. "You never know when. Makes you realize what's really important." I know in my head it's true. Then it happens close to me. Twice. Now I feel it.

So now I wrestle with this question.....When I get to my future, what have I gained? Something else to check off the list? And have I missed the people along the way?

Weakness

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.   ~2 Corinthians 11:30

Who does that???? Who would brag about what they can't do? Most people would brag about what they can do. Now, I know in moments of insecurity I will say something about one of my perceived imperfections to beat someone else to the punch, or because I just know they are thinking it.


"I just could not do anything with my hair. I'm sorry you have to look at it."

"I sure feel fat today."

"That cake probably isn't very good. I think I over-baked it."


But Paul does not seem like the insecure type. In fact, over and over again, he shows just how self-aware he is. In this first letter to the Corinthians he says, "For Christ did not call me to baptize, but to preach the gospel - not with words of human wisdom,....." (1 Cor 1:17) 2 Corinthians 11:6 says, "I may not be a trained speaker, ......"Amazing! God called him to preach, but did not gift him with a great ability to speak??!! That's nuts! What was God thinking? 

More often than not, God calls us to do things we are not equipped for. Why? Several reasons, I think. First, because God doesn't need our ability. The power of the message of Christ is enough to change the world. Paul explains in the second half of First Corinthians 1:17 that he wasn't called to speak eloquently "...lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power." If someone comes to Christ based on a person's ability to speak and persuade, then what happens when trouble comes? Did she follow Christ for the right reasons?

Secondly, so that we won't rely on our own abilities. He reprograms our thinking so that we don't automatically assume that we should do what we are gifted to do. It's totally contrary to what this world thinks. It's kingdom thinking.

Thirdly, he wants us to rely on him. He wants to show us things we would never see on our own. When we get into his word and know him, he empowers us to do what we can't do.

Also, I think he calls us to do what we don't feel gifted to do so that we won't get a swelled head. Pride kills our relationship with God. And that's what he wants more than anything, a relationship with us.

So, Paul's assertion of his weakness is not self-deprecating. It's an honest and accurate appraisal of his relationship with God. If we want to truly fulfill our purpose in Christ, we've got to start pushing aside thoughts of inadequacy and start embracing the truth that God can do more in us than we can possibly imagine if we let him.

The Hidden Treasure

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it."   ~Matthew 13:44-46

I've heard this parable all my life and I've always misunderstood it, maybe willfully. I thought God was the man and I was the treasure. I thought God was the merchant and I was the pearl. It's an accurate view of God's love for us. He does pursue us at great cost to Himself. It cost Him the agony of watching his Son die cruelly in our place.

But that's not what this parable is about. The man, the merchant --- that's me. The treasure and the pearl represent the kingdom of heaven. God. Jesus. Fulfilling the awesome purpose He has planned for us. It just might cost us everything we have.

What does that mean for me? What will it cost me? That's a question each of us must ask ourselves and God. It could be different for each person. I believe the point of the story is this: What are you holding on to that God may be asking you to give up? A job? Security? A relationship? Your reputation? Material possessions? Safety?

Our God is a radical God. He is not friends with this world and if we follow Him, we can't be friends with the world either. To live the radical Christian life is to risk.

What have you risked lately to follow Christ? What have you let go of that you might embrace Christ wholeheartedly?

Full Stop

Interesting how my plans sometimes get derailed. I'm going 65 mph with life, getting things done, then from out of nowhere....STOP! I'm flat on my back, unable to get anywhere by myself. I'm totally dependent on other people. Can't drive cause you gotta have both eyes open for that. Don't want to watch TV cause that hurts. Reading is a challenge. All because of one tiny scratch.....on my eyeball. The only thing I can do is lie in the dark and try not to make it hurt more.

Sometimes I think God puts these STOP signs in the road to force us back into first gear. If we don't slow down, maybe he forces us too. Psalm 46 says, "Be still and know that I am God." It doesn't say do anything. It says "know."

Too bad it took an injury to force me to be still.

Relapse

Relapse for me means I go back to lazy or destructive ways of thinking. "I'm not worth anything to anyone, really." "I'm not good at this. Nobody acknowledged my effort." "Why even try? It'll never amount to anything." Codependents have an unhealthy need for validation from other people. We are prone to bouts of depression. We're afraid to step out and try something new. We wonder why people don't respond the way we need them to.

Recovery is a process of reprogramming our minds. We have to stop the stinking thinking that keeps us paralyzed. I have to spend copious amounts of time in the Word to battle my tendency toward negative self-talk. Even then, it's still a battle.

Road Bike

I bought a new road bike a couple of weeks ago. I really want to get back in shape and since my body will not let me run anymore, I think biking is a good alternative. There's a lot to learn about this sport. It's more than just being able to stay up on the bike, like avoiding the crazy drivers who come within inches of knocking me to the curb. Overall, people are considerate. But there are always one or two who have to be rude.

Anyway, I'm learning how to shift and I'm learning where the best routes are. I also have this app on my iPhone that talks to me while I'm riding and tells me when I hit each mile and what my top speed is. So, here I go. I hope this something I can really enjoy for a while.

Archeology

I was watching this episode of Nova about a week ago. They were looking for archeological evidence of the Israelites. In particular, they wanted to know how the Israelites got the idea of one God when all the other nations around them had many gods. Apparently that was a brand new idea way back then.

And how did they come up with the name of their god? YHWH, which we interpret as Yahweh. It was unspeakable to the ancient Jews. Well, see, according to the experts, there were some people, the Assyrians, I think, who had a god named YHW, pronounced Yahoo. Seriously. So, the scientists say, the Israelites probably adapted the name from them.

And then there is this whole question about whether or not there really were a group of people who fled from Egypt to the land we now know as Israel and Palestine. There is no archeological evidence to support the story. Maybe they were just a tribe that migrated from some of the Canaanites.

I like to hear what non-believing scientists say about the Bible. It helps me when I come across someone with a wild idea.

The thing is, all this theory is interesting, but where is the faith? Hebrews 11:6 says that "without faith it is impossible to please God, for all who come to him must believe that He exists that that he rewards those who earnestly seek Him." These scientists are not looking for God. They are looking for facts. Facts cannot save someone from their sins. Archeological evidence alone cannot bring someone to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. At some point the facts must end and faith must begin.

Now, I'm not an advocate of blind faith. I think that leads people down some very dangerous and strange paths. People can follow anything on blind faith. I can believe my refrigerator can save me from Hell with blind faith.

All this historical and archeological evidence does for me is strengthen what I already believe. The Bible is reliable. It's message is revolutionary. It is truth. It is the infallible Word of God. And if the archeologists tell me there is no evidence to prove the Bible is true, just wait a while and someone will discover another piece that proves the contrary.

Glory on Glory

I love Beth Moore. I watch her every chance I get. She pulls things out of scripture that I would never see in a million years. The other day I was watching my DVR recordings of her on Life Today and she brought out a scripture from The Message that hit me right where I am.

Proverbs 25:27
It's not smart to stuff yourself with sweets,
   nor is glory piled on glory good for you.

I'm going to skip over the first line and choose to consider that another day (as I put a piece of chocolate in my mouth). But the second line is what she focused on in her lesson. It's not good for us to always succeed. It seems strange but it is true. I struggle with perfectionism. I have a great tendency to think that I have to be good at whatever I'm doing in order to feel that I'm worth something. I especially have to be good if I feel like I need to impress someone to get their attention. But being good, being number one, being right is not always good for us in our spiritual walk. It makes us proud and less dependent on God. When I get a string of "at-a-girl's" I start to think that I've really got it going on. Graciously, God allows me to fail or struggle enough that I remember who really has it going on.

The Apostle Paul admitted that he preached with no great amount of knowledge or speaking ability. He came as an example of God's power. And when I think about it, that's the attitude I need to have.

Pardon My Rant

All this educational budget talk has brought out some comments that, frankly tick me off a little bit. As a teacher I'm naturally a little biased. But I am tired of people feeling justified in saying that teachers need to experience what the rest of the workforce has been feeling lately, namely budget cuts and layoffs. Maybe this is a little egotistical of me, but I don't put my profession on the same level as a lot of other professions. I put it higher. Public school teachers educate children.  What more important job is there? (I would certainly put firemen and policemen on the same rung of the ladder.) I would love to be part of a community that puts honor where it belongs. I could say a lot about the price of a Super Bowl ticket in our city verses the amount of money we pay to teach each child per year. Why can't we be extravagant in an area that will make a real difference in the quality of life for our kids?

Denial

I watched the news last night. There were two interviews that caught my attention. One was Charlie Sheen. The other was Muammar Gaddafi. I'm struck by the differences, yet the striking similarities. Talk about two men in total denial about what is really happening around them.

Charlie Sheen was one of those interviews that I just couldn't stop watching. It was like a car wreck. You know you should look away but, you just can't help it. I hurt for him. With Gaddafi, you kind of expect some self-deception. He's a dictator after all. It's part of the job description. How could you not be responsible for killing so many people over the last 40 years and not live in denial? And, I guess, when you think about it, Charlie Sheen did grow up in Hollywood, the land of make-believe. It makes sense that he would lose touch with reality, or perhaps he never knew it.

Proverbs 16:18 says "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Both men think they are in indestructible while walking, no, running down the path directly toward their own demise, taking many people with them.

Test Questions

Did you ever have one of those teachers who gave tests without letting you know what was going to be on it? You want to do well, but you get very little direction. Maybe there's so much information you don't know what's really important. If only he or she would just tell you what you need to know, you'd learn it. But, when there's no direction there's frustration and possibly failure.

Sometimes I feel like God is like that. He's giving me a test without telling me what I need to know to pass it. I mean, I want to do well. I want to learn the lesson and move on, but I don't know what I'm supposed to know. Obviously I haven't learned it yet, cause I'm still stuck in the same place. I'm still going around this same mountain.

Habits

It's funny how things can change so quickly. It's sad how I revert back to old habits.

I've tasted more freedom in the last month than I have my whole life. I've felt God's hand sculpting my soul like the skilled potter of scripture. I can feel myself becoming the me God had in mind all along. He's peeled back the lies. He's drawn back the curtain to reveal the ugly truth. And in the light of day, their power has all but disappeared. Fear is fading and fearlessness is taking its place.

Yet, I still grasp for control. I worry and fret. My body aches from stress. How can I go backward when going forward is so much better?

Habit. Fear has been my default for a very long time.

How do I break the habit? Time and practice. I fill my mind with God's truth. I practice new thoughts and resist the old ones when they creep back in. And then, I believe, someday, when I least expect it, freedom becomes the habit. Fearlessness will become my default.